MID-WEEK Confession #33: The One-Up Prayer-Warrior

I'll admit, I fall into this category from time to time. The "one-upper prayer-warrior" is the topic of the DAY.

What exactly is such a person you may ask? Well, have you ever prayed in a group- and it seems as if each person praying attempts to 'out-do' the person before them by changing up their prayer? Below are three trends I've noticed in group prayer life, and a few remedies I've concocted...

1) The 5th grade vocab-dealers: Those people who throw in snazzy 7th grade spelling-bee vocab to spice the prayer up a little bit, it definitely ads pizazz to any prayer when you hear someone say "And Lord, please continually provide propitiation for the plethora of trespasses we continually commit."

THE REMEDY: If they insist on showing off their impressive vernacular, I recommend busting out THIS puppy, requesting they pause their prayer, and reading the definition of every "big" word they use. I guarantee they'll think twice before using such lengthy verbiage.

*Note: The reason I've labeled it as 5th grade and not 7th or 8th is because my brother ended up in 3rd place at his 5th grade Spelling Bee for misspelling the word Vivacious. Basically, by saying 5th grade it was a cheap shot against him. Revel in it, oh brother.

Matthew 6:7

"And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words.

2) Recitation Gurus: (AKA The people who give you a Bible lecture during a prayer)

These people are usually classified as the ones who say things to prove how knowledgeable they are Biblically. They prequel their mini-prayer-bible-studies with statements like, "Lord, We know that Your Word tells us.." and continues on to quote half of the New Testament.

Yes, yes.. it DOES tell us that, but I'm sure HE knows what He wrote.

THE REMEDY: As the person praying this way gasps for a breath of air, usually before he/she begins to quote the remainder of the Sermon on the Mount, feel free to slip in, "AAAAA-MEN." The rest of your prayer group will be so relieved that you rescued them that they, in turn, will say AMEN, thus relinquishing hearing a few hours more of biblical recitation.

Luke 18:11-13

The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. ¹²I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'

Last but NOT least

3) The Oh-Lordies

These people are characterized by the people who say, "LORD", "GOD", or "FATHER" after every sentence. It will go something like "Lord, thank you for the day you have provided us with, and Lord, thank you for being in the midst of us. Lord, We just ask you humbly to, Lord, let your will be done, Lord"

Generally its using Lord, God, or another one of His titles like high school kids use the word "UM" in speech and debate class.

THE REMEDY: I absolutely NO clue.

Ecclesiastes 5:2

Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your
words be few.

I just find it odd that this tends to happen whenever we pray around people who exemplify a level of Spiritual maturity that we either desire or think we have. Now, not everyone who "prays well" is doing so with the wrong heart, I just thought I'd share with you, IN JEST, some commonalities I see while praying with a group of people.

Are there any types of prayers you notice? How about some of the verses that I missed that deal with conversing with the Lord?

In Jest,

Prisc